So it is that time of year again, my two older sons went back to school today. One started 7th grade and the other 5th, I think my 7th grader was more nervous than his brother lol but in the end they both had a great first day! Peanut was a little bummed when he woke up and asked where they were because he wanted to go to school too, I tried explaining to him that he wasn't big enough for school yet but he just replied that he is big now and seeing as how his daddy and I keep telling him what a big boy he is I knew that argument was lost so I simply told him that he is 2 years old and when he is 4 years old he can go to preschool and that answer seemed to satisfy for now. Then of course when my husband got up Peanut had to recap our conversation for him in a way that only a 2 year old could, all I could do was smile and think to myself I am in no hurry to send him off to school and I will cry like a baby when I do.
My mother in law's condition is getting worse and I have no idea how to help my husband deal with this. Nothing I say or do can make her better or make it any easier for him to see her this way but i can't help but want to comfort him and reassure him that everything will be ok, but I am not sure I believe he will be ok. It is a hard thing to watch someone you love and care about be taken over by such a horrible illness but when this is your mother, the woman who raised you alone, the only parent you ever really knew and the only one you have, I can't even imagine his pain. He seemed to be in a state of denial for a while but it is finally sinking in that this is really happening and I can see the hurt in his eyes every time he goes to see her or even talks about her and I just hope in some way I am able to help him through this. He has been a rock for me when I needed one and I want to be his rock for him, so I will smile and try to remind him of all the wonderful memories he has and will always have and be a shoulder when he cries and a quiet ear when he vents about how unfair life can be and hope it is enough.
One of my favorite quotes : "Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one's watching, and live like it's heaven on earth" - Mark Twain
Well that is all I have for tonight but as always I hope everyone has a wonderful day and something to smile about.
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